coming off of lexapro: withdrawal symptoms.

After my crazy monkeys darling children came to live with us and my darling father paralyzed himself and my husband worked 7-days-a-week 14-hours-a-day for 3 weeks, I went onto an anti-depressant. It seemed reasonable at the time.

About nine months later I developed (very quickly) arthritis in my hands such that I can't do all that I want to do. I was 44 at the time with no family history of such early arthritis.

My doctor said NOTHING about the possible connection between these two. I've seen the same doc since I was 17 years old. I fired her this morning.

When I was sick last week, I inadvertently missed 5 days of my 10mg-a-day Lexapro. I accidentally went cold-turkey.

Here are my Lexapro withdrawal symptoms. No I don't imagine that you, regular reader, are interested; I'm posting it for the google-people.

• wobbly-headedness. I feel constantly as if I have had 1/2 glass too much champagne. This isn't as fun as it might sound.
• nausea and the inability to feel full.
• thirsty. all. the. time.
• inability to fall asleep or feel sleepy at the proper time of day.
• uber-constricted pupils. Little specks of black.
• aggressive hunger attacks. DO NOT get between me and the snack.
• cold-flashes. Body temperature plummets and I can't get warm again.
• crabbiness. I'm giving myself lots of time-outs.
• racing heart, as if I have had too much caffeine.
  

I'm seeing my new doctor on Wednesday to see if there is anything to be done for me. It's sad to leave my old doctor and her staff behind. It's more sad to look at my gnarled hands.

They are bad enough that friends look at them and say "Oh My God!" and I don't scold them for cussing, as I am grateful that they are calling God's attention to them, just in case He would like to intervene. And they hurt. Oh, do they hurt.

if only I could sew

I am mostly a very capable and confident woman. But sewing brings me to tears. I quiver just thinking about it.

One nice thing about arthritis -- and it is the only nice thing -- is that it completely lets me off the hook about conquering this fear. It's official. I don't sew. I won't sew.

But if I could, I'd sew these.

New Year's Resolutions

:: to be a more prepared and attentive teacher
:: to be a more patient and gentle Mom
:: to get back in the habit of regularly attending church
:: to read more to my kids
:: to call my friends more often
:: to better defend my husband's rest time
:: to work on my manuscript
:: to drop 15 pounds
:: to exercise more
:: to do a trial run of a gluten-free diet to see if it impacts the arthritis
:: to visit my folks more

If it looks familiar it is pretty similar to last year's.

the great vacuum review

I probably need a 12-step program for vacuumoholics. I have 7, not counting the shop-vacs. In order of seniority:

1. I really like my Oreck Classic Vacuum Cleaner which I bought in 1995. I like it because it does the job well and is -- as advertised -- only 8 pounds. This means that my children can easily handle it and I can use it even when I am wimpified by arthritis or asthma. It's also very handy for staircases. Once every 4-5 of years I spend $40-60 dollars on maintenance and a bit on bags.

2. Second up is the little cannister vac that came with my Oreck. I think they call it a Buster and it works fine. Nothing special, yet no complaints. Because the little bags cost money, we save this for things that can't be swept, like cleaning out the couch crevices.

3. iRobot Roomba: early model, named Robbie. Oh how I love my Roombas. I don't quite think they were manufactured with rooms as furry as mine in mind, but the Roombas do a fine job. They zip around and vacuum while I am in the tub, or blogging, and there is something very gratifying about having a robot vacumm. I feel like Mrs. Jetson. I spend more time that I want to cleaning out furmats from the wheels, but as most people do not have 6 housepets, this is probably a flaw of our home, not a flaw of iRobot.

4. iRobot Roomba more recent model, red, named Robin. Robin takes care of the main floor, Robbie does the upstairs.

5. No-name purple no-bag cannister vac. At first I thought these bag-free vacs were the best idea yet, but this one has taught me that disposable and replaceable bags act as filters to protect my non-disposable non-replaceable motors from small children who want to vacuum up, say, flour or talc, or - even worse - damp flour or damp talc.

6. Dirt Devil Extreme Power Stick: This was the one we all reached for, it does a great job on fuzzy corners and small spills and touch-ups on the area rugs. The cannister is easy to empty and the whole thing is light-weight. It is a bit loud.

7. Swiffer Sweeper+Vac: this is the new kid on the block, sent to me as a present from Swiffer. I like it a lot. It is basically the Dirt Devil with a dustpad attached, so all the fluffy furry dusty stuff clings to the pad and the other stuff goes into the cannister. It puts a better shine on the floor and runs a bit quieter; the cannister is easier to open and close. Thus far, I'm favoring it over the Dirt Devil which may move upstairs to help Robbie with the kid fuzz.

So there you have it. More than anyone really wanted to know about the state of my vacuums.

:: edited to add that you can learn more about Swiffers at Maid's Express' Swiffer Sweeper review.



vacuum

half-lives & other insights

Did you know that Ibuprofen has a half life of six hours? So if I take 4 tablets at 8:00 a.m., I have 2 tablets worth in me at 2 p.m., at which time I can take two more to keep the level up to where it manages pain.

Also, paraffin baths rock (as does the niece who loaned hers to me). Paraffin baths don't fix my hands, but they take the ouch off long enough to go to sleep. Who knew? If there is an arthritis-sufferer on your Christmas list, buy them one of these:

I also learned that most people do not experience cold as pain. For me, cold is not one bit different than pain. When I am cold every joint hurts; apparently arthritis does this. I didn't know that other people don't experience this. I just thought everyone was more stoic than I.

osteoarthritis

Yup, I'm going to go sign up for AARP now and start dying my hair blue.

They can't stop it. They can't reverse the damage. They can't even slow it down. I'm only 44. It hurts when my children hold my hands. This breaks my heart.

Here is the arthritis link of the day: Osteoarthritis of the Hands.

because we don't have enough stress in our lives

Nothing like find a lump where there ought not to be lumps to get one's imagination running wild. Last Friday I took the lump to my GP who sent me to ultrasound on Tuesday (yes, it was hard to sleep over the weekend).

"It doesn't have the typical appearance of cancer." Huge sigh of relief.

"It also doesn't have the typical appearance of a lymph node." Hmmmmm . . .

Just to be absolutely sure, I'll have a Fine Needle Aspirate (FNA) done later this week or early next week. The Doc at the ultrasound office says it looks like a strangely inflamed lymph node.

It just so happens that another part of my body is showing strange inflammation: my hands. They are getting knobby and painful and behaving just like hands with rheumatoid arthritis. I am 44 years young, thank you very much, and my hands have no business doing this. Neither do the rest of my joints which are routinely painful.

I saw my doc two weeks ago about this, back when only two knuckles were involved. I got an appointment for a rheumatologist for four weeks hence (two weeks from now). In just two weeks, all my other fingers have joined the knobby-ouchy party. So when I heard the words "strange inflammation" from the ultrasound doc, I marched straight over to the rheumatologist, splayed my ouchy digits on the counter and said "I'm scared. This is coming on so quickly and other parts of my body are acting up."

The (prissy) receptionist said, "Blah blah long wait, blah blah, doc is very busy, blah blah."

The doctor -- who had been walking through reception when I plead my case -- said "work her in today or tomorrow."

YEAH. So I see him today. Not real sure what to hope for. Something that requires a long vacation in the hot sun would be fine.

works for me: organic blueberries

Blueberry season has started here, so I'd like to share with you the Joys of Blueberrying.


1. locate an organic blueberry farm near you
2. pick a mild day or go early in the morning
3. don't bother feeding your kids before you go
4. pick zillions of berries
5. watch kids stuff berries into their mouths.
6. be happy that you don't have to wash the berries first as they don't have nasty sprays on them.
7. go home
8. put berries in bag (do NOT wash them first)
9. freeze bags

(time passes)

(snow falls)

10. open a bag of berries
11. notice with admiration and glee that they are still individual berries, not a frozen mushy clump (this is why you didn't wash the berries before bagging them).
12. put berries on breakfast cereal, in muffins, etc.



Did you know that blueberries are the fountain of youth? Yes indeed. In August of 2006 CNN reported that

Wild blueberries rank Number One in antioxidants for fruit, according to the U.S. Department of Agriculture, with a score of more than 13,000 for total antioxidant capacity per. Cultivated blueberries are the second highest, with about 9,000 (for comparison, Gala apples score around 3,900).
There's no official recommendation for daily antioxidant consumption, but they are known to be important for fighting off free radicals in our body and from the environment. Free radicals cause damage to cells, disrupting the DNA and potentially setting up the body for disease. And the cell damage may be at the root of a host of health issues, from aging to macular degeneration to cancer to Alzheimer's disease. But antioxidants scavenge those free radicals in the body, neutralizing their effects. According to the National Cancer Institute, considerable research suggests that antioxidants may slow or possibly prevent cancer. They also fight inflammation, now known as one of the main causes of diseases like arthritis and cancer.

They are just plain good. Good tasting and good for you, whether applied internally or externally.

In your blender or food processor, combine about 1/4 cup fresh blueberries, 1 teaspoon lemon juice, a dollop of honey, 1 Tb cornstarch, and 1 Tb rolled oats.
Whirl until it is smooth. Let rest a bit so the oatmeal and cornstarch can absorb the excess liquid.
Apply to your face.
Sneak up on your kids and say boo! (optional).

After about 20-30 minutes, rinse off with warm water.

If you have very fair skin, you should do a test patch, as blueberries make a great dye. My skin is olive colored and I'm tan, so it works fine for me.





:: this post is part of Works for Me Wednesday